NRL Fantasy 2019 Part 63

Unlucky New Zealand in the women's world cup. Lost 2 games to injury time goals to get knocked out.

Rippin and Tearin wrote:By the way, the other piece of advice I would give is dont fall into the trap of trying to "find your passion". A person I truely respect, my brother actually, gave me the advice that I should "find my passion" in terms of a career, back when I was 18. I believe pursuing that advice was one contributing factor that sent me to towards some mild, yet difficult mental health issues by the time I was about 35. For ages I felt like I was failing because I hadn't found my passion and it sucked.

This guy says it way better than me:

“Find your passion” might be the worst advice ever.

It’s the type of personal development riddled with phrases like:

You must find your ultimate passion.
Find something you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.

The problem with focusing on what you’re passionate about is… it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it comes with a poor underlying assumption. The assumption is that your level of love dictates how dedicated you’ll be to the journey. You think that once you find that ultimate passion, things will fall into place, and you’ll do the work necessary to succeed.

This is backward.

In reality, you don’t find passion until you get good at something. When you develop competence in something you enjoy, you build more confidence to help you tackle larger challenges, and you continue to grow, which fuels more passion to repeat the process.

Then, one day, you look up and you’re successful. Every person you see at the top of their game followed the simple recipe I’m about to explain.

You can follow it, too. Just know that you’ll need to work at it for a while. It will work if you’re patient. It won’t if you aren’t.

The guy goes on, but its basically the point that you have to work at things, a bit of trial and error with different jobs etc, and be patient. Then hopefully one day you'll find things have worked out.

This is great.

The other part that it took a while for me to realise is that success means different things to different people.

I grew up with family and friends telling me the definition of success was a marriage, white picket-fence house, children etc.
That's honestly not for me and it took me to my late 20s/early 30s to realise that.

Don't let society dictate what success means to you. Figure out what you need for your life to be at your happiest.
I'm sure a lot of people in here will have different goals and different things they want from life.

Rippin and Tearin wrote:By the way, the other piece of advice I would give is dont fall into the trap of trying to "find your passion". A person I truely respect, my brother actually, gave me the advice that I should "find my passion" in terms of a career, back when I was 18. I believe pursuing that advice was one contributing factor that sent me to towards some mild, yet difficult mental health issues by the time I was about 35. For ages I felt like I was failing because I hadn't found my passion and it sucked.

This guy says it way better than me:

“Find your passion” might be the worst advice ever.

It’s the type of personal development riddled with phrases like:

You must find your ultimate passion.
Find something you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.

The problem with focusing on what you’re passionate about is… it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it comes with a poor underlying assumption. The assumption is that your level of love dictates how dedicated you’ll be to the journey. You think that once you find that ultimate passion, things will fall into place, and you’ll do the work necessary to succeed.

This is backward.

In reality, you don’t find passion until you get good at something. When you develop competence in something you enjoy, you build more confidence to help you tackle larger challenges, and you continue to grow, which fuels more passion to repeat the process.

Then, one day, you look up and you’re successful. Every person you see at the top of their game followed the simple recipe I’m about to explain.

You can follow it, too. Just know that you’ll need to work at it for a while. It will work if you’re patient. It won’t if you aren’t.

The guy goes on, but its basically the point that you have to work at things, a bit of trial and error with different jobs etc, and be patient. Then hopefully one day you'll find things have worked out.

This all really makes perfect sense. And thanks for your feedback on my last post. It's funny in relation to passion. I admit that being somewhere for so long must mean it's not that bad but the point is, I feel demotivated, over it and sick and tired some days to the point where I'm stagnant and don't want to do it anymore. However collegues and even my other superiors tell me how passionate I am when it comes to how I perform my role and my outputs. And I would say the opposite a lot of the time. Makes me think my demotivation can be from within and I should challenge myself to really step up more and regenerate a love for the job because obviously the spark is there.

So you are right, passion can generate from within from the most unlikely source and in relation to the most unpredictable things. Developing a passion indeed takes time and you may not even know it until you stop and look around at what you have done or what you can do that you couldn't before.

Storm, weigh up and ask yourself is your job really that bad and picture yourself doing something different first. Also challenge yourself to see if you can get anything more out of it.

It's tough but I feel as humans we always want something that we haven't got. We sometimes never appreciate what we have and just look at others and think they have things better. It's only until something is gone then you know if you've made right decisions. Tough and a true leap of faith is needed for some of us that really want to change. I feel if someone wants to change they will. If there is doubt then maybe quitting to find something else might not pay off if you can't handle it.

filthridden wrote:

This is great.

The other part that it took a while for me to realise is that success means different things to different people.

I grew up with family and friends telling me the definition of success was a marriage, white picket-fence house, children etc.
That's honestly not for me and it took me to my late 20s/early 30s to realise that.

Don't let society dictate what success means to you. Figure out what you need for your life to be at your happiest.
I'm sure a lot of people in here will have different goals and different things they want from life.

Yup 100% agree with this. For me I used to think success meant a lot of money. Currently 'success' for me means having a job where I can take my kids to school/daycare at 8:30 and pick them up at 4pm and spend the weekend with them without worrying about work.

As you say, 'success' means different things for different people, but figuring out what it is that you want is the key (not what you think everyone else thinks you want).]

filthridden wrote:

This is great.

The other part that it took a while for me to realise is that success means different things to different people.

I grew up with family and friends telling me the definition of success was a marriage, white picket-fence house, children etc.
That's honestly not for me and it took me to my late 20s/early 30s to realise that.

Don't let society dictate what success means to you. Figure out what you need for your life to be at your happiest.
I'm sure a lot of people in here will have different goals and different things they want from life.

Love this and fits me perfectly.  Fuck social pressure and what others think of you and what you should be doing.  The majority of the human race are sheep and we are only getting dumber.  Once I realised I don't want to live like the masses expect everyone to you become free and a lot happier.

No disrespect to anyone from that paragraph everyone lives how they want and that's fine by me. Just don't get where people get off judging others.

Milchy wrote:
Unlucky New Zealand in the women's world cup. Lost 2 games to injury time goals to get knocked out.

Unlucky, but at the same time, you gotta score goals if you want to progress in tournaments. We only scored one this tournament and that was an own goal! Herath's legacy still their IMO!

At the risk of judging, Israel Folau is seeking $3m in donations to help him fight his court case.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/international/113659994/israel-folau-seeks-a3-million-from-donors-for-fight-against-rugby-australia

wolfking wrote:

Love this and fits me perfectly.  Fuck social pressure and what others think of you and what you should be doing.  The majority of the human race are sheep and we are only getting dumber.  Once I realised I don't want to live like the masses expect everyone to you become free and a lot happier.

No disrespect to anyone from that paragraph  everyone lives how they want and that's fine by me.  Just don't get where people get off judging others.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

multiple.scoregasms wrote:

On the same page Krumpy. Great job but recent it feels stale. Looking at the options of taking a year to work overseas but really hard to pull the trigger on the security of a good job

I've got a good job. I work for a NGO/charity so the pay is not huge, but I earn enough to pay the mortgage and look after the fam. I've applied for a different role within the company a couple times in the last 2 years but haven't been successful yet. I've been in the same role for the last 7 years, so it will be nice to do something different.

filthridden wrote:

Comparison is the thief of joy!

Great quote.

White Lightning wrote:

I was reading nrlsctalk (btw I see you post on there a lot mate) & they were saying Haas is out 2-4 weeks & that he won't be playing round 15. Don't take this as gospel though.

Read that last night too. Hopefully Broncos say something early next week about it

Y'all getting pretty deep with these career conversations. I'm also at a point where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself.

I used to have an idea. Wanted to get into performing arts. Along the way I realized that performance is secondary to networking, politics and constant rejection. Lost all interest in it and haven't know what to do since.
Funnily enough I didn't fail per se, I was actually about to sign with an agency, I just didn't think I was good enough and I had enough of driving myself into the ground over it.

I don't know why I'm sharing this, not even a particularly social member here but well the topic kind of came up.

Johnny B Goode wrote:Y'all getting pretty deep with these career conversations. I'm also at a point where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself.  

I used to have an idea. Wanted to get into performing arts. Along the way I realized that performance is secondary to networking, politics and constant rejection. Lost all interest in it and haven't know what to do since.
Funnily enough I didn't fail per se, I was actually about to sign with an agency, I just didn't think I was good enough and I had enough of driving myself into the ground over it.  

I don't know why I'm sharing this, not even a particularly social member here but well the topic kind of came up.  

Yeah it's more about who you know than what you know in the performing arts scene, with a few exceptions. (Some crazy gifted and talented people can't be ignored) This can be pretty disheartening

Johnny B Goode wrote:Y'all getting pretty deep with these career conversations. I'm also at a point where I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself.  

I used to have an idea. Wanted to get into performing arts. Along the way I realized that performance is secondary to networking, politics and constant rejection. Lost all interest in it and haven't know what to do since.
Funnily enough I didn't fail per se, I was actually about to sign with an agency, I just didn't think I was good enough and I had enough of driving myself into the ground over it.  

I don't know why I'm sharing this, not even a particularly social member here but well the topic kind of came up.  

Hope things work out for you mate. I've got family who are deeply invested in the arts scene in NZ. They work harder than anyone I know!

On the good enough thing: I've seen some very successful people who IMO are not particularly great at what they do. I think its some of the other qualities in a person that can help make you succeed. I used to beat my self up all the time thinking I was not good enough. In the end I just put my head down and tried to be as good as I could be, and thats about all you can ask for. Actually this reminds me of the guy I previous brought up, Dr. Paul Wood (look him up if you haven't I suspect you might appreciate some of the shit he says). One of the things that he said is, the only legitimate comparison you should ever make about your self is to yourself. No point comparing to others around you etc as its not relevant, the only thing thats important is trying to become better than you were the day, month, year before....

On the networking thing: I used to hate it, in fact I still dont really like it, but I've realised without it I aint going far.... life reality in the area I work in!

Chewie wrote:

Yeah it's more about who you know than what you know in the performing arts scene, with a few exceptions. (Some crazy gifted and talented people can't be ignored) This can be pretty disheartening

i guess it can help if you are 2.3m tall and are known for ripping people's arms off when you lose.

No footy for 1 week and we all lose our minds.

What happens to you guys in the off-season?

I have no sob story, life has always been ok to me, bar the odd family sickness and tragedy which touches all our lives. I will share one anecdote though.

There is a lady who stands outside my building in the city with Big Issue magazines, she is quite old and just has the sadest, most defeated and depressed face I've ever seen. I don't usually look at people on the streets or pay attention to the less fortunate but her face honestly makes me pause and consider her life.

I can't help but think, what keeps her going? she is old, no money barely talks to anyone, why hasn't she just ended it? I think I would. I then think about it some more and it occurs to me that happiness and value are relative. I've always known this, but it just really found more context after considering her for a while. She could find happiness eating a piece of cake, feeding some ducks, watching the sunset, helping another homeless person. What actually makes my life any better than hers?

We have different opportunity sets, we do different things, but I think we are really good at adapting. I can think of times in my life where i had it much much worse off, in between a job, not sure what to do next but I was still really happy, I found things to be happy about.

I think the thing that I'm most grateful for, and luckiest to have, is my practical sense of moral and social relativity. I know that I will always be valuable and find value in some environment regardless of it's social prestige. I think that is the missing piece for a lot of people as we get caught up in what constitutes a good life, or worth living.

In a nutshell, happiness and value within life or a job is completely relative. As an example being a worker in aged care facility, in my view is one of the greatest social goods a person can provide and you absolutely should be proud and happy with the gift you give to people everyday, regardless of what economic value your pay (employer) puts on it.

Does anyone else work in the meat-works?

Rippin and Tearin wrote:

On the good enough thing: I've seen some very successful people who IMO are not particularly great at what they do. I think its some of the other qualities in a person that can help make you succeed.

There is a saying - think of how stupid the average person is. And then realise that half the population are stupider than that.

If you can just be slightly above competent you can go quite far. I realise I am not a total superstar at my work, but I generally know what I'm doing.
I work in IT, and just the ability to read a manual (and slightly more tricky, apply the information you find there) can be enough to make you look like a genius sometimes.

Rippin and Tearin wrote:

Now work in a big data, econometrics, mental health, health economics kinda space.

Awww....jeah

Econometricians in the hizzz-oussssse!

L-Jimmy wrote:

Awww....jeah

Econometricians in the hizzz-oussssse!

Haha, I did wonder what your background is in!