The Not Thread-Worthy Thread

Don't ever kid yourself into thinking that there is any such thing as a perfect life or relationship Finchy. All relationships are hard work. Some harder than others. Like Dip said, no two people are the same and therefore no two relationships can be the same either. Speaking from experience with my wife though, often the relationships that are the hardest to begin with and that you really have to fight like hell for end up being the best. We are happy as all get out now but that's cos we worked at it. We compromised for each other, sacrificed for each, hurt each other and supported each other through that hurt and are now in a position where we both wouldn't wanna be with anyone else.

At the end of the day, you're lass might seem a bit broken and like a "fixer uppa" project at the moment but underneath there somewhere is someone just looking for the same thing that you are. Companionship. Someone to talk to and share things with. If it develops further than that then I can pretty much guarantee that the effort that you put in will come back to you in spades! And if it doesn't go any further, sure you've lost some time but you've improved someones life. Bloody unselfish thing to do in a pretty selfish world.

My best mate and his wife have just had their first child. They have also just started their own new business. It's proving to be a lot of financial strain and that in turn has manifested itself into strain on their relationship. He has developed full blown depression, anxiety and a massive lack of trust. He's suspicious of everyone. Thinks that everyone is either judging him, stealing from him or attempting to undermine his relationship. The crazy thing is, the only one that's undermining his relationship is himself. As much as I can I'm helping out. Fortunately, I knew the guy before things went south so I know the bloke that people see and meet nowadays is definitely not who he really is.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that if it's worth it, you'll know. And clearly she is. Just like I know my mate is. You wouldn't be here expressing your concerns etc to a bunch of strangers if you didn't feel she was. So take pride in what you're doing, small steps at a time, treat every little win as a major milestone and regardless of what happens, don't throw in the towel just cos it gets hard!

Massive respect to you also by the way for being so candid. It's refreshing to see someone speak so freely about something that is certainly not a minor issue. Kudos bro.

Welshy wrote:Missis off on her hen to Budapest tomorrow

When she returns I'll be on countdown for round 2 in Benidorm for the stag!!

i hope to have some stories to give you much like the last

Okey Cokey lads. Who votes that Welshy turns the tables and locks his Missus out of the house when She gets back? Upvote for YES; downvote for NO.

SI wrote:

Okey Cokey lads.  Who votes that Welshy turns the tables and locks his Missus out of the house when She gets back?  Upvote for YES; downvote for NO.

That witch is as good as gone mate, soon as her suitcase leaves that porch she is goners!!

Welshy wrote:

SI wrote:

Okey Cokey lads.  Who votes that Welshy turns the tables and locks his Missus out of the house when She gets back?  Upvote for YES; downvote for NO.

That witch is as good as gone mate, soon as her suitcase leaves that porch she is goners!!

She's fucking hot but!

SI wrote:

She's fucking hot but!

She's alright and i love her but she is mental mate haha!

Finch wrote:

I think the majority of posters are missing out on posting here, either that or everyone else has a perfect life.

Maybe so but you have to remember why they are here. Fantasy football takes many away from real live maybe.

Welshy wrote:
She's alright and i love her but she is mental mate haha!

The hot ones always are

Krump wrote:
The hot ones always are

Oh christ aye!! Can't really complain, I go out when I want and live a decent life

Welshy wrote:
She's alright and i love her but she is mental mate haha!

They're all mental its just the level that varies

Krump wrote:
Nobody has a perfect life. Honeysett May look like it but I bet he misses snorting lines of blow off the DD’s of hookers and random tinder matches.

Edit: there was a ripper post from you a few pages back moose

Only had one Tinder date mate and it went tits up. I'll post up the story at a later date. Also never paid for sex in the fiscal way.

I've got hardly a perfect life lads, I'm just very selective in what I share. I've had addictions in the past, gambling that I got under control and was going down a bad part with coke as well. I've done it all myself to beat it before it became an actual problem but yeah hardly the perfect life.

However I still can do coke off DD titties it's just my girlfriends now

I hate coke. I love it’s smell though.

Finch wrote:

Thanks Krump!

Thanks, I hope it all works out but right now I just have to keep doing what I'm doing, and go above and beyond if needed, there isn't much else I can do. Just make her happy, and I think I'm doing that.

I think the majority of posters are missing out on posting here, either that or everyone else has a perfect life.

I think it's just a core group of lads that are in a spot where they're happy to help out someone else because they know that they've been through struggles themselves or they'd want someone to be there for them if they fell down. As Dip posted before I genuinely believe men are far more caring than the stereotypes suggest.

At the end of the day we're all imperfect. We all have faults and difficulties that we've had to overcome. I don't see what Finch is doing as just merely helping him with one girl. I see it as embracing a side of life that's going to help in a lot of facets of life as well. Small skills that are transferable into the outside world that can make life a happier and better place.

I truly believe that everyone's core goal in life should be to make people happy. If you have that mentality you attract better/positive people into your life.

Most of us learn about life the hard way. I'm happy to share any tips or advice that might help other people avoid some heartache and/or headache.

Even just sharing a story helps people who read it then understand that they not the only ones that feel that way.

Anyone else just lose motivation and have no drive for anything, at certain times? I push people away even though they make me happy, it's very counter productive. Just lacking that drive to do anything really, things that used to make me happy, don't as much anymore. Would rather just be in my own space rather than be around other people.


Anyone else get like that sometimes?

Finch wrote:Anyone else just lose motivation and have no drive for anything, at certain times? I push people away even though they make me happy, it's very counter productive. Just lacking that drive to do anything really, things that used to make me happy, don't as much anymore. Would rather just be in my own space rather than be around other people.


Anyone else get like that sometimes?

Yes absolutely. Being introverted if I spend a lot of time with people it exhausts me. A big week at work with added networking events and I'll crash on the weekend. Though with three kids i don't get the chance to hide in bed, i just have to keep going. I'm getting better at making my own space and doing things that charge my batteries rather than drain them.

NRL fantasy helps as I can pop my head in here if I'm feeling anxious. Just check in on the latest trades and rankings. Gives me the headspace to reset and get on with the rest of life.

I've also found recently that doing stuff I used to enjoy as a kid really has a positive impact on how I feel. Building lego, swimming at the beach etc. are activities that I can do for me but don't exclude those that want to spend time with me.

Have recently got back into golf as a way to recharge the batteries. Spending 45 mins - 1hr or so at the driving range working on my game is refreshing. Can drop in there after a long day at work and hit a few balls mostly aiming at the bloke driving around in the little buggy relaxes me. Have a few mates who also play a little bit of golf so a good way to socialize more and get out.

Finch wrote:Anyone else just lose motivation and have no drive for anything, at certain times? I push people away even though they make me happy, it's very counter productive. Just lacking that drive to do anything really, things that used to make me happy, don't as much anymore. Would rather just be in my own space rather than be around other people.


Anyone else get like that sometimes?

Loneliness is addictive. You get comfortable with your solitude and you don't feel the need to share yourself. It's a dangerous trap because the more comfortable you become the more you pull away from society.

With things like lack of motivation and not finding the things that interest you anymore you need to work at it because it'll only get worse before it gets better. Things like diet and exercise are great ways to get some motivation back, when you're putting healthy foods into your body you feel better naturally. The same as when you're exercising and releasing endorphins. The chemicals in your brain won't allow you to feel down and then it has a snowball effect.

Put it this way. Staying at home with the curtains drawn isn't going to improve your life.

Thanks folks. I don't know what is it, did some digging today and it could be one of three things, they all sound pretty similar; Schizotypal, Schizoid and Avoidant Personality Disorder. Basically all three have "Conditions" such as misinterpreting other peoples motivations, distrusting people, being a loner, not much emotion, dont enjoy close relationships, just general stuff like that.

Basically sums me up. I really don't care much for other people, as sad as that sounds.

Are you happy with the person you are? If yes then you don't need to worry whether it's a "condition" not everyone needs to be the same square peg into square holes. If you don't fit there's different holes...

Just caught up on the thread.

Love this place.

Finding a lot that I relate to in the last few pages especially.