The Not Thread-Worthy Thread

filthridden wrote:Flat Earth is a ridiculous theory.

If the Earth was flat there wouldn't be enough room underground for all the lizard people, they'd just fall into space.

I never believed there was any underground lizard people to start with.
On the other hand dogs in space is a thing. So stop letting you dog dig holes in the back yard.

Just saw a massive pasta bake at Coles that is priced at $10, on special for $2!

Bought it (that's my dinner for the week) and it wouldn't scan the right price so ended up getting it for free.

Living the frugal life!

filthridden wrote:Just saw a massive pasta bake at Coles that is priced at $10, on special for $2!

Bought it (that's my dinner for the week) and it wouldn't scan the right price so ended up getting it for free.

Living the frugal life!

Was it flat or more global ?

So major updates in the goings on of Honeysett. Let's put them in categories.

Work
This has been an absolute cluster fuck. I got told I had the job exactly where I wanted it for the right amount of money. Then I got a phone call that someone had spoke negatively about working with me and they were pulling the offer. I asked for a chance for explanation to which they agreed and we worked all that out. Turns out it was someone I had managed out of the business because she was a low performer and posted anti gay speech on social media while she had our company name right under where she worked. Anyway so they're back to working out minor details and now I have to have another interview with the big big boss who I didn't get along with one bit. Just a really bad vibe and the way he spoke to me was really condensing and I just didn't enjoy it at all. He told me that I'm good but not good enough which I wasn't at all happy with considering the state of affairs they're in at the moment. Anyway so I get a phone call the two days later offering me a different position at a different place. Now I've got no interest in moving backwards which is what we agreed this was so I declined. Apparently I'm now on their radar which is really good but I still don't agree with the ethos the big boss has and will find that a problem. So I haven't moved positions and I'm staying with my current company.

Bambi
We've moved past the jealousy piece and I believe she's made great strides in fixing that up. However as was always her plan, she's moving to America for a year to be a live in nanny while she studies. Now I've been rally supportive this whole time and we agreed that after August would be ideal and we'd make it work. She's met the perfect family for her (and me) as they're in Philly which is perfect for when I visit. However they've asked her to move in July and that really fucking sucks for me. I'm just in all sorts of sadness around it at the moment and she is a little bit as well but she's still excited at the same time. I know it's an amazing opportunity for her to go and there's no way I'd ever want her to give it up so I wouldn't even ask but with how quickly it's come along I'm just really fucking devastated by it all. We're both insanely head over heels for each other and at no point has that lulled at all so I'm not worried that it won't work out or that we'll break up because I'm really confident that we'll get through it and we'll be so good after it long term. It's just the fact I'm losing such a large component to my day to day life so quickly that I just can't stand the thought of not being able to spend time with her. It's really tough at the moment. I've shed a few tears and I'm not one to do that at all but it's so hard thinking about.

We're going to a wedding together shortly so that will be amazing to have a bit of a send off but I don't want her to go this soon. I'm planning two trips over there and the family have already said that they would love me to stay with them which I think is fantastic but it's still so fucking hard. I just hate that it's hard.

Tough, HS! Talk it through and be honest, all you can do. Look at all your options.

As for the job, that's fucked. Mega frustrating. Sorry that's the turn it took, mate! :/

I just saw an ad for "Hancock"the official tyre of the NRL ? How many tyres do they fuckin go through ? Holden sponsors the womens comp, don't the cars come with tyres ?

@HS

Tough deal all round!

Honestly, I'm not really a fan of long distance relationships, I'm a believer that it doesn't work. I guess every situation is different and it depends how strong the relationship is, but it would be so hard not to see your partner for a year, even with two visits in between. I just cant imagine myself in that situation, then again I don't really trust anyone, except myself.

So where to begin? Not sure really, this will probably be a bit scrambled. I think really I just want to write/post what I’m thinking, what’s going on inside my head.


Does anybody else feel like their lives are just going through the motions, day after day? I’m quite comfortable with my current life, I enjoy it, but I know I can’t live this way forever. I’m talking about my job, my lack of companionship too I guess, what I do in my spare time etc. It just seems like I’m behind the 8 ball and I have no motivation to get out of my current routine.
I’m currently working two jobs, both part time, but in total its about 40 hours, give or take. I’m happy with that, the pay is decent, but I’ve been doing one of them for nearly 10 years, the other for nearly 7. I want to get out of the bubble I’m in, I’m getting too old to do the jobs I’m doing, they are meant for younger people. I want to better myself, I want to be successful and I feel I can’t do that with my current employment. At the same time I’m telling myself that I’m comfortable here, If it ain’t broke don’t fix it kind of thing. It’s hard to describe.


At one of my jobs, 7 year Hospo job, we recently got new owners/managers in the past 3-4 weeks, a couple. I don’t know what goes on when I’m not there, but when I’m there it’s a shit show. My official title is Assistant manager, has been for years, but really I’m the one running the place now, at least when I’m there. I’m literally surprised there haven’t been any complaints yet about the food. I walk in and the back room is a total disgrace, boxes/rubbish etc everywhere. The wife/female in the relationship seems to want to do everything, it’s a massive pain in the ass, she babies her husband too. “I don’t want him to be too stressed tomorrow so I’ll do this tonight for him” WTF, how is he going to learn how to do shit if you are babying him. If I take 5 steps towards the chiller, “What do you need I can get it for you?” Such a pain in the ass. She tries to do 100 things at once which slows down the entire operation. It’s all about delegating.


Just last night I mentioned that there was chicken in the fridge that was 2 days old, it should have been used tonight. His reply was that it will be ok, we can use it tomorrow. I’m sure it’s fine and everything is ok, but personally I wouldn’t want to eat 3 day old chicken, you can get quite sick. Friday night was super busy, some people ended up waiting 40 minutes, normally I/we (Under the previous owner) tried to get the food out within 20/25 minutes, which was quite a good time. So while I’m busting my balls on the grill, one of the owners is busy out the back doing shit which didn’t need to be done at that time/that night. ARGH!!


Adding to that they make so many mistakes when cooking food on the menu, it’s bloody annoying because I don’t want the food to get overcooked. Plus they ask me every single night, does X go with X? The same questions every night. They have literally jumped head first into a business and they have no idea what they are doing. They don't know how to cook the menu properly, they don't know how the stock rotates, they don't even know how to deal with customer complaints, let alone customer questions. They have done 0 research.


End of the night they tried to tell me that next time if it gets busy I need to tell them to increase the wait time, they aren’t taking any blame themselves. If they worked faster, if they knew what to do and actually focused on the job food could have been going out quicker.


Add to that, because I’m a quiet/introvert person, it’s a massive PITA when she talks to me. For about 45 minutes a few nights ago she was talking to me nonstop about her family, her kids, why her mum lives with her, what she believes in, how to bring up kids. I literally didn’t think she was going to stop talking, it was consistent. I’m there to work, why are you telling someone you met 3 weeks ago your entire life story?


Anyway enough about work. Does anybody else push people away, even though you know it’s the wrong thing to do? In regards to the lady I was talking about a month ago, I wouldn’t say I’m bored of her, just really not interested in her or anyone, we haven’t done anything physical either, so I’m not bored of her in that sense either. She seems to need help, she is mentally scared from previous experiences, so I don’t want to seem like a dick for bailing on her, but really at the end of the day it’s not my problem. I seem to fall into this trap quite often, I’ll find someone I think I want to be with, spend time together then just go off them. I push people away, I know I’m super good at it, but I hate myself for doing it. How can I stop this? Should I stop this?


I think some people are just meant to be alone for whatever reason and I’m one of those people. At the same time though, it would be cool to have someone to go out with and do things, as I was with this lady, but I love my own space/time etc without having to work around other people.

I don’t know, just wanted to write something down. I know it could have been structured better and more to the point, but it’s nearly 1am now I just want to sleep. Zzzz

Also, isn't it funny how we have answers for everyone's problems, but not our own. Lol

My wife worked at KFC when she was a teenager too.

But seriously, what interests you ? Go to TAFE get a certificate and GTFO.

No Worries wrote:My wife worked at KFC when she was a teenager too.

But seriously, what interests you ? Go to TAFE get a certificate and GTFO.

I don't know what TAFE is sorry. I'm assuming its University?

The thing is, I could literally take an entire year off work (Or at the very least quit my two current jobs) and be able to survive quite comfortably with what I have in my bank account. I just know it's a stupid thing to do in the long run, but right now I'm just lacking any motivation.

Finch wrote:Also, isn't it funny how we have answers for everyone's problems, but not our own. Lol

Objectivity is easy when it has no bearing on you personally.

my tv broke wrote:just discovered this thread. it is pretty interesting to read about what others here are doing/going through/etc, even if you're all just names on a forum to me.

I don't think there is a problem with this. Society wants you to believe you 'need to be with someone' but I don't think that's true.

Dead right there. Figured out a while ago that my definition of success is not what fits with society's vision of what success is supposed to be.

We grow up being told that owning your own home, perfect marriage, children and secure job is what we should be aiming for and that should make us happy.

That doesn't work for me.

My version of success is being a better me than I was previously. That is what makes me happy. Self-improvement on a personal level.
Funnily enough I do want to own my own house and have a life partner, not necessarily marriage and kids are a 'happy either way' for me.

and having motivation is a catch 22 sometimes. You don't have motivation to do something because you don't know what you want to do.
Get out there and try things... that you don't have the motivation to try because you don't know if you are going to like them or not.

It's like confidence. You get confidence by faking it a lot of the time. Tell yourself you are motivated until you are.

Just drag yourself out there and do shit because otherwise you won't.

filthridden wrote:

Dead right there. Figured out a while ago that my definition of success is not what fits with society's vision of what success is supposed to be.

We grow up being told that owning your own home, perfect marriage, children and secure job is what we should be aiming for and that should make us happy.

That doesn't work for me.

My version of success is being a better me than I was previously. That is what makes me happy. Self-improvement on a personal level.
Funnily enough I do want to own my own house and have a life partner, not necessarily marriage and kids are a 'happy either way' for me.

and having motivation is a catch 22 sometimes. You don't have motivation to do something because you don't know what you want to do.
Get out there and try things... that you don't have the motivation to try because you don't know if you are going to like them or not.

It's like confidence. You get confidence by faking it a lot of the time. Tell yourself you are motivated until you are.

Just drag yourself out there and do shit because otherwise you won't.

Nah, aw hell nah! Fuck that. I'm right with you there Filth! I don't own a home... I am married but definitely wouldn't say it's perfect and actually don't believe there is anything such. And if you think that busting your balls for someones else's profit or gratification is going to make you happy then you are either ridiculously subservient and well into acts of service (which by all means is not a bad thing) or looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places.

I actually love what I do. I work sporadically as fuck and will likely never be a millionaire but you know what? Who cares!?! I travel... A LOT! I meet heaps of awesome people from all different corners of the world. I had a bucket list of things I wanted to do before I died and one day it dawned on me how properly morbid and restraining that is. Unfortunately so much of all of that type of stuff/thinking ties into pop culture and media that is consistently forced down our throats on a day to day basis. I decided I wasn't having a bar of it and had that bucket list completed by my 30th birthday. Nowadays I don't make "bucket lists" I make plans. Nothing outlandish like "I'm gonna climb Everest at the age of 60" but achievable things. I set myself targets and goals. That's what drives me on a day to day basis.

And @Finch, I'm constantly questioning myself. "What am I doing with my life", "where will this decision take me?", "why am I not successful or as successful as I want to be?". This is the basis of self improvement. And if nothing else, bettering yourself on a daily basis is for the betterment of your fellow man and if you don't find any reward in leaving the world in a better place than you found it then you'll not find enjoyment in much in life. Never for a minute discount that or think that feeling like you are underachieving is a bad thing, that's just you questioning yourself on what you can do better.

Nowadays I try and live by four things...

1. Learn something new everyday. Cliche as fuck I know, but I actually find it really rewarding.
2. Achieve something everyday. It can be something tiny like cleaning my house or something massive like acquiring a new company or selling part of a company that I own off for a profit. Either way, I don't care, so long as I achieve something.
3. Question something everyday. Preferably something big. Something that people bandy about on a regular basis. Political, religious, medical, whatever. A lot of the time that will lead to crossing number one of the list for the day.
4. Be better than I was yesterday. Whether for myself or for those around me. Either improve the world and other peoples lives by being a better me or just do it for my own satisfaction.

If I do all four of these each day then I feel I'm doing ok.

Meary, if you're doing all four of those things every day then I think you're doing better than OK!

1,2 & 4 are things that I think I try to do as often as I can. I read a lot online every day so that often takes care of learning new things.

Lately the achievement has been trying to tick off something small on my to-do list when I get home from work. I've been quite up-and-down this week (lot of emotions from the split) so I haven't had much motivation at all.

What I have learnt a bit of and is helping me is doing some yoga in the afternoons just to unwind and clear my head a bit + stretch myself out a bit. Ultimate season started on Monday and I already sore and stiff from one game haha.

filthridden wrote:Meary, if you're doing all four of those things every day then I think you're doing better than OK!

1,2 & 4 are things that I think I try to do as often as I can. I read a lot online every day so that often takes care of learning new things.

Lately the achievement has been trying to tick off something small on my to-do list when I get home from work. I've been quite up-and-down this week (lot of emotions from the split) so I haven't had much motivation at all.

What I have learnt a bit of and is helping me is doing some yoga in the afternoons just to unwind and clear my head a bit + stretch myself out a bit. Ultimate season started on Monday and I already sore and stiff from one game haha.

I have days when I don't get one or two of them done but not from lack of trying. Just due to how busy the day was. That being said, it's just something that I try to live by. Those four things, each day and I'm a happy man.

It's crazy how emotions can effect things in life. From trivial matters like just getting outta bed to big decision making choices. Gutted to hear about the split mate. Things like that are never nice. Remember though, it's a setback. It's not definitive. Of you or your abilities. Character is shown in it truest colours when we are faced with adversity. Another cliched saying for sure but I believe it rings true.

I've done yoga once or twice... I find you have to be able to turn off to do it though and that's not something that I can do. Asides from when I'm sleeping, I'm literally 100 miles an hour either physically or mentally. But i respect those that have the patience.

Hahaha, ultimate is demanding AF!

Mearcats wrote:

I have days when I don't get one or two of them done but not from lack of trying. Just due to how busy the day was. That being said, it's just something that I try to live by. Those four things, each day and I'm a happy man.

It's crazy how emotions can effect things in life. From trivial matters like just getting outta bed to big decision making choices. Gutted to hear about the split mate. Things like that are never nice. Remember though, it's a setback. It's not definitive. Of you or your abilities. Character is shown in it truest colours when we are faced with adversity. Another cliched saying for sure but I believe it rings true.

I've done yoga once or twice... I find you have to be able to turn off to do it though and that's not something that I can do. Asides from when I'm sleeping, I'm literally 100 miles an hour either physically or mentally. But i respect those that have the patience.

Hahaha, ultimate is demanding AF!

I'm a bit the same. Brain is always ticking something over.
I never liked yoga because going to classes seemed so slow and boring and set and goes for like an hour and have someone talking at me the whole time which I find off-putting and using terms I don't understand.

In front of the TV by myself I can do it at my own pace and usually only for 20-30mins just to clear the head and stretch a bit.

Yeah and I am feeling pretty good about my character through all of this. Continuing to work on myself, understand myself and be OK with the things I'm feeling while trying to do the best to be kind to myself and to her. Such a big grey area and lots going on in both of our lives so largely trying to be understanding and take things a day at a time.

filthridden wrote:

I'm a bit the same. Brain is always ticking something over.
I never liked yoga because going to classes seemed so slow and boring and set and goes for like an hour and have someone talking at me the whole time which I find off-putting and using terms I don't understand.

In front of the TV by myself I can do it at my own pace and usually only for 20-30mins just to clear the head and stretch a bit.

Yeah and I am feeling pretty good about my character through all of this. Continuing to work on myself, understand myself and be OK with the things I'm feeling while trying to do the best to be kind to myself and to her. Such a big grey area and lots going on in both of our lives so largely trying to be understanding and take things a day at a time.

It's speaks volumes that you are being amicable through this situation mate. It shows humility, restraint and optimism. Beautiful characteristics that the world in general could do with a bit more of nowadays.

So often in today's society we see and here people saying that it's ok to be selfish in a time like this. Don't get me wrong, I'm ok with people being a little self centered an in certain situations being selfish is what is required. However, I think the better person is the one who is selfless. The one who is hurting but also understands that the other party may be too. The one who realises that, even though it may not seem so at that point in time, there is bigger problems in the world. That selfless person is the type who impacts others positively and energetically. They make a difference.

I've never tried yoga in a class or studio... Just once in the media room while watching a "how to" DVD and then again on my own without the background noise. Unfortunately, even if there is no ACTUAL background noise, the noise in my head doesn't abate. There's just too much going on for me to centre and close my mind to the external stuff. Nowadays about the only way I relax is to play golf. Ironic right? That and going to see a movie with my old man. He's 60 but it's been our thing to do together since I was about 13yrs old. He likes it and I find it an easy way to switch off and not feel like I'm wasting valuable time as it's time invested into a relationship and spent with family.

Don't be scared about "not" being ok with yourself. As I said in my first post, I am of the opinion that this is just your conscience egging you on to be better. To do better. There's been plenty of times I've felt insufficient in life for whatever reason. But by being a little introspective I can deduce what it is that is making me feel that way and figure out an action plan. It's oober rewarding knowing that I was a better me today than what I was yesterday.

Trying my best to procrastinate with some late night work and was very surprised, after looking into this thread for the first time, to see all the posts about what all you blokes are currently going through.

Anyway, I don't feel like I'm that old (nudging towards 40) but I do feel like a shitload of 'life' has happened to me in that time, including some of the very best moments and some of the very worst moments you could go through.
So that being said, I thought I would share my thoughts/advice with you blokes and feel free to consider or disregard it, as you see fit.

@Honeysett
Your work situation sounds fucked mate and to be honest whether your missus goes in August or July is probably not going to make a shred of difference in terms of your happiness/unhappiness.
I don't know what you do for work but could you not kill two birds with the one stone and take a punt on finding work over in the US near your missus?

Not saying the long distance thing is impossible but given most people who make their minds up to leave a job, eventually do so even if they temporarily back-flip, then why prolong the inevitable and would it really be impossible to just pack your bags and make a big move overseas?
Seen quite a few mates that have taken a huge punt like this (for varying reasons) and they haven't looked back.

@Finch
Mate, if you're juggling two jobs it is actually bloody hard to get clarity on what is the best direction for yourself.
I was in a similar predicament many moons ago, so I quit one of the jobs and went to uni - good decision in the long run but at the time it was somewhat of a punt and I could have easily stayed put doing what I was doing.
I just knew deep down I wasn't happy/satisfied, so I made it work (e.g. in terms of work/money etc.).
Also don't fall into the all too common trap of thinking it's too late to start something totally new.

As for the companionship issue, only you will know whether being alone is your thing (and there is nothing wrong with that - I know quite a few people that have lived full and happy lives like this) but to me (bearing in mind I am interpreting this from a post on a forum....and thus could very well be wrong) it sounds like you would like company but may just not have found the right person yet??
If this is the case, my advice is to trust your gut, move on if you have to but be careful what you wish for (and don't panic about being alone for the moment) - actively searching for the right person simply doesn't work IMO and I think we naturally gravitate to the right people the less we think about it.