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    filthridden
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    Post by filthridden Tue May 29, 2018 9:36 pm

    Finch wrote:

    I think my problem is actually doing something in the first place. I just spend my days going to the same websites over and over, playing the same games, same music, all before I go to work in the evening/nights. Feels like I'm just wasting my life *Shrug*

    Absolutely mate, convincing yourself to make the first step is the hardest bit.
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    Post by code delta Tue May 29, 2018 9:57 pm

    Finch wrote:

    I think my problem is actually doing something in the first place. I just spend my days going to the same websites over and over, playing the same games, same music, ....
    Sounds like you need to change your habits. Doing something 30 times leads to a change of habit.
    So go for a walk outside for 30 minutes and see how many birds you see that fly and are free. Do this for 30 days.
    Birds are amazing.
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    Post by Finch Tue May 29, 2018 10:01 pm

    code delta wrote:
    Sounds like you need to change your habits. Doing something 30 times leads to a change of habit.
    So go for a walk outside for 30 minutes and see how many birds you see that fly and are free. Do this for 30 days.
    Birds are amazing.

    Yep, I know I need to get out of my comfort zone. For me, that's got to start with a new job. I'm happy beating to my own drum, I don't want/need a partner/friends, maybe it would be nice, but I'm more than happy doing stuff by myself, makes it more rewarding.

    I'm looking, but every time I see something I tell myself "Well I could stay at my current jobs, earning the same (If not more) and be more comfortable, so why am I applying here?"
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    Post by Finch Tue May 29, 2018 10:36 pm

    Trapped in my mind...


    I guess
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    Post by No Worries Wed May 30, 2018 7:40 am

    code delta wrote:

    LOL. In the mid 1980's I worked in the tax office in Centerpoint Tower in the heart of Sydney. The lowest three floors was a major retail center.
    For a period we'd get evacuation orders because someone had called in a bomb thread. Means the shops were closed down and we all got to spend a few hours relaxing in Hyde Park.
    This happened for once or twice each month for 6 months before they tracked the tax office employee doing it.
    Wouldn't take that long these days.

    I use to work opposite the tax office in Parramatta and I reckon that happened about once a fortnight. They were always out on the street.
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    Post by No Worries Wed May 30, 2018 7:44 am

    Finch wrote:Trapped in my mind...


    I guess

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    Post by Oz Sport Mad Wed May 30, 2018 8:21 am

    Finch wrote:

    I think my problem is actually doing something in the first place. I just spend my days going to the same websites over and over, playing the same games, same music, all before I go to work in the evening/nights. Feels like I'm just wasting my life *Shrug*

    Night work is ok for some but if you're stuck in a rut (as you quite clearly appear to be), then I would punt the night work mate.

    I've done it before and given we are not designed to be nocturnal it fucks with you both physically and mentally IMO.
    Not surprised you spend your days doing the same shit, a lot of night workers do.

    Based on your previous post, you have a good bank to live off during a transition period (I think you said about a year?), which is deadset a luxury most people stuck in a rut don't have.
    Honestly mate, you are actually in a bloody good position to make a change, so take advantage of it while you can and start a new career path.

    Also don't know how old you are but I've seen plenty of older blokes start an apprenticeship or study, so don't rule this out - particularly if you don't have that financial constraint.
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    Post by Honeysett Wed May 30, 2018 10:01 am

    Finch, you need to ask yourself a few questions.

    What goals do I have? Write anything down, small or large. Silly or serious.

    Is what I’m doing now going to achieve those goals? No? How seriously do you want to achieve those goals?

    What do I need to change to achieve those goals? Write it down.

    What makes me happy? Write it down. There’s so many things that make us really happy that we don’t do a lot of because life gets in the way. When I did this I realised I loved going for massages (not sexual you fucks) and that I hardly ever went for them. Now I go all the time. And patting dogs makes me the happiest so I went out and pat 365 dogs in a year. Was the best year of my life.

    The tough love part of this. Your life won’t improve if you don’t do anything different. It’s on you. No one will ever care more about your life than yourself. If your life has stagnated it’s because you’ve allowed it to. Which is also the beautiful thing about it because it means you can change it and there’s nothing outside of your control.

    I’ve got two suggestions, start going to the gym and doing some cardio. You’ll release endorphins which will mentally make you feel better and in turn you’ll be healithier (not assuming you’re not it’s just a good start) and get a dog. Go to a shelter and find a best friend. They’re always happy to see you when you get room and mentally so uplifting.
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    Post by filthridden Wed May 30, 2018 11:27 am

    Lunchtime opshopping today and managed to get some coasters and a random hand-painted Australian Christmas ornament for $8 total. Only wanted coasters but the baubel will be a nice addition to family gifts at Christmas in NZ!

    Also: #FrugalLife
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    Post by my tv broke Wed May 30, 2018 1:30 pm

    Oz Sport Mad wrote:Night work is ok for some but if you're stuck in a rut (as you quite clearly appear to be), then I would punt the night work mate.

    I've done it before and given we are not designed to be nocturnal it fucks with you both physically and mentally IMO.
    Not surprised you spend your days doing the same shit, a lot of night workers do.

    100% this.

    I haven't done night work myself but used to have a bunch of guys in my old office that did, and they were all slowly getting more miserable. All just seemed stuck in the same old rut.

    Re: goals, and setting them, etc. This can work for alot of people, but others, not so much so. When you're that kind of person, people telling you to set goals just makes you feel more pressured and worried you AREN'T doing anything. I guess part of it is figuring out what the idea of goals means to you.

    BUT, as others have said, changing it up is all on you, so you just need to figure out what will work for you. If you can't figure it out, then I would suggest to just take some time off and travel. For at least a month, but more if possible. And try to avoid the usual "touristy" type spots. Any big tourist spots are just full of other tourists, and locals that aren't interested in you because they're sick of tourists (well, just used to them).

    Something that usually works for me is just having things to look forward to. Usually this is in the form of an upcoming trip/holiday, but also just teeing up small things on the weekend like beers with mates or going to the footy, etc.
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    Post by Finch Wed May 30, 2018 4:30 pm

    Thanks for the replies everyone. I know what needs to be done, just not sure where to start I guess. Just going over what I've said before recently, I want to find a new job. All my life I've worked Hospo, which I do enjoy, but I'm starting to ask myself if I still want to do that. But if I don't do that, I don't know what to do.


    Edit: I think I also have a lack of motivation, which I think comes down to the fact most of my adult life I've been by myself, which I love. However I think the fact that I don't have to help provide for anyone, only worry about my own food/bills, don't need to worry about what I'm buying, is good, but at the same time having a companion might give me something to focus on? Does that make sense, not sure?

    Oh well. Again thanks everyone for the replies, thumbs up all round Smile
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    Post by Honeysett Wed May 30, 2018 4:48 pm

    Solution = get a dog.

    Save one from a shelter. Save a life and know that when you get home you'll have your best friend there excited af to see you. It's what gets me through any bad day. Knowing that in a few minutes I'll have surrounded with unconditionally love and affection.
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    Post by my tv broke Thu May 31, 2018 12:30 pm

    Honeysett wrote:Solution = get a dog.

    Save one from a shelter. Save a life and know that when you get home you'll have your best friend there excited af to see you. It's what gets me through any bad day. Knowing that in a few minutes I'll have surrounded with unconditionally love and affection.

    I grew up with dogs and a cat as pets as a kid, so always wanted one, but all my adult life, living in sharehouses with mates, and then buying a unit, it was just never suitable. In the end, GF drove the decision to just do it (at first, i really didn't want to have a dog that was unit bound unless out with us, i also did not want a "small" dog), best decision ever.

    It's been awesome in getting me to exercise again more frequently, taking him for walks morning and evening most days. When I really can't be bothered, I feel bad if he doesn't get to go for a run, so will do it anyway, and always feel better for it.

    Actually amazing how much of a general mood improvement it is to start off the day with a morning walk. Fresh air, etc. REALLY good in the afternoons after work, leave phone at home, and either go for a jog, or go to the dog park and just sit back and clear the head.
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    Post by Honeysett Thu May 31, 2018 12:39 pm

    my tv broke wrote:

    I grew up with dogs and a cat as pets as a kid, so always wanted one, but all my adult life, living in sharehouses with mates, and then buying a unit, it was just never suitable. In the end, GF drove the decision to just do it (at first, i really didn't want to have a dog that was unit bound unless out with us, i also did not want a "small" dog), best decision ever.

    It's been awesome in getting me to exercise again more frequently, taking him for walks morning and evening most days. When I really can't be bothered, I feel bad if he doesn't get to go for a run, so will do it anyway, and always feel better for it.

    Actually amazing how much of a general mood improvement it is to start off the day with a morning walk. Fresh air, etc. REALLY good in the afternoons after work, leave phone at home, and either go for a jog, or go to the dog park and just sit back and clear the head.

    Exactly mate. I completely agree. I cannot tell you the amount of times that life has been hard or something has gone on and I've just gone to the dog park and watched her run around like an idiot chasing birds she'll never catch and it's completely lifted my spirits.

    It's the companionship as well that's really grounding. Knowing that you've got someone that will just love that your home and lift your spirits up straight away. I've got a Rottie and she's just the biggest personality, everyone absolutely loves her.
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    Post by standard-issue Thu May 31, 2018 12:54 pm

    my tv broke wrote:
    Honeysett wrote:Solution = get a dog.

    Save one from a shelter. Save a life and know that when you get home you'll have your best friend there excited af to see you. It's what gets me through any bad day. Knowing that in a few minutes I'll have surrounded with unconditionally love and affection.

    I grew up with dogs and a cat as pets as a kid, so always wanted one, but all my adult life, living in sharehouses with mates, and then buying a unit, it was just never suitable. In the end, GF drove the decision to just do it (at first, i really didn't want to have a dog that was unit bound unless out with us, i also did not want a "small" dog), best decision ever.

    It's been awesome in getting me to exercise again more frequently, taking him for walks morning and evening most days. When I really can't be bothered, I feel bad if he doesn't get to go for a run, so will do it anyway, and always feel better for it.

    Actually amazing how much of a general mood improvement it is to start off the day with a morning walk. Fresh air, etc. REALLY good in the afternoons after work, leave phone at home, and either go for a jog, or go to the dog park and just sit back and clear the head.

    A bit off topic, but I do all my exercise in the arvo/night. Literally have to get out of bed and go straight to work within 5 minutes. If I do anything at all I can't be fucked and usually take the day off.
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    Post by filthridden Thu May 31, 2018 1:07 pm

    SI wrote:

    A bit off topic, but I do all my exercise in the arvo/night.  Literally have to get out of bed and go straight to work within 5 minutes.  If I do anything at all I can't be fucked and usually take the day off.

    Sounds familiar! I roll out of bed into the car for an early start at work.
    Other end of it is that I'm home early so I either do a little exercise as soon as I get home or I have a game on Monday night and play pick up on Saturday mid-morning.

    Finishing early makes a huge difference in summer and you feel like you've got a whole day left.
    In winter, I just want to get inside and turn the heater on and go to bed at 8pm though. Sad
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    Post by my tv broke Thu May 31, 2018 3:02 pm

    Haha, im certainly not bouncing out of bed. Took a few weeks to force the morning dog walk habit, was really hard at first. Now i just do it without thinking. Other than that, its a quick shower and off to work.
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    Post by Honeysett Thu May 31, 2018 7:56 pm

    Getting out of bed is the second hardest thing in the morning ammirite lads?!
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    Post by No Worries Thu May 31, 2018 8:14 pm

    The hardest thing is getting the missus to say yes to the 2nd hardest thing
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    Post by code delta Thu May 31, 2018 10:27 pm

    I can understand what dogs do for people. My sister has made so many rescue dogs happy over the years. Them dogs seemed to understand and appreciate the secound chance.
    I prefer birds though. No need to have fences and regular feeding times.
    Now you don't want a bird just for it to sit in a cage for you to look at. That's cruel to the bird.
    You want a companion as others have found with there dogs.
    Consider getting a young hand raised bird. Take it slowly and it will bond with you, thinking you are it's mate.
    We have a Rainbow Lorikeet that thinks I'm her mate. She has birdbaths in an inch of water in our washing machine. I don't pat a dog, I give one fingered head preening to the head of a bird that thinks I'm her mate. Same unconditional love of a dog.
    Consider a hand raised budgie or cockatiel. I'd go a male cockatiel. Such good potential with his voice.
    And you have to offer the bird time out of the cage. Let it sit on your shoulder and talk to it.
    I could go on about the wonders of birds as companions.
    There's some really simple things you can do that make birds worthy companions. Ask here or PM me if you decide to get a bird as a mate.

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