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Honeysett: Welcome to the 4th Poster Profile and introducing my personal favourite Welshman... Welshy! Pleasure to have you here mate, could you please introduce yourself in the most Welsh way possible?
Welshy: Go piss up a rope you aussie twat, too early? Helo, fy enw i yw Ben (Welshy)
Honeysett: I may need a translator for this interview. Tell us a bit about yaself mate
Welshy: haha I'm actually quite shit at knowing the language of my fathers so I may need one myself. My kids know far more and one is 7. Guess that is a good starting place 2 kids, my best mucker my boy and my daughter who is 11, love sport, rugby coach, play when not injured and I love the razz
Honeysett: You coach your little boy, right? How's that going?
Welshy: Ahh mate I could talk about my boy and our team for hours this interview could get boring haha! Unbeaten this season just took out a prestigious rugby tournament in Marlow, England where our A and B squad both won it all. The boy has scored 145 tries this season he is an animal, I'm overly hard on him which is unfair sometimes. Best thing I ever did was star coaching I count down the days in work til training and match days
Honeysett: Happy to hear that mate! Big into sport, who are your teams mate?
Welshy: Wales obvs, Cardiff Blues union, Rhinos ESL, Newcastle EPL Warriors NRL LA Chargers NFL Pacers NBA Canucks NHL...some pretty mediocre teams in there, I've had a hard life. Sorry Newcastle Championship haha! we should get back this year mind. O christ I've jinxed it now. miss miss cats piss
Honeysett: Fuck man, you must be grey as fuck with all those miserable teams. I was about to put the boot in but you beat me to it. While we're here, what the fuck does miss miss cats piss mean
Welshy: like i said i have had a miserable life following sports, minus some golden years from the Rhinos and some dece nations runs from Wales! and who can forget the euros! madness. miss miss cats piss is used to jinx something over here. kicker going for goal...utter the words and he should miss....60% of the time it works all the time
Honeysett: You guys drink too much bong water. I won't ask you how you got your name that's about as creative as a Bren catchphrase. Tell us all the story about the infamous stag do
Welshy: poor old Bren! oh christ will have to make sure we delete this thread afters hahahaha. I won't bore you with too many deets, but here goes.....Benidorm for 2 of my mates stags, It is a fucking zoo there let me tell you, full of filthy, filthy middle aged women out drinking most of the men with a spatter of younger plum duff, the beer is hideously cheap as well some easily available "sweeteners". day after we landed In the midst of an all day bender where we started boozing 6am he following day, the coronas were flying as we sat merrily outside the Tiki Tiki beach bar, typically a group of welsh birds from Rhyd, (Rhydyfelin) about 15 minutes from where all the boys are from back home pulled up next to us, pretty standard set up we all got chatting more boozing etc etc Im usually pretty arrogant with the ladies only speak when they speak to me but I was that howling I was straight in there, I was just throwing abuse and one of the lovlies was just loving it so, we all arranged to meet up laters
basically you can gather what happened later in the night, but in the interim I had phoned home and left a voice message saying i was taking the kids and moving to Ryd with this piece... travelling home and the paranoia sets in after a 4 day bender and no reply from the missis...got home and I got thrown out so spent a few days with my mam who only lives across the street...little did i know the miss not heard the voice mail i was being thrown out because i told her i was only away on the stag for 2 nights not the 4 when she finally got round to talking to me again, she went into the shower and I promptly deleted the message.... the piece was actually married and me and the missis bumped into her on a night out in Cardiff, but that's another story
Honeysett: HAHAHAHAHA holy shit, if she kicked you out for that can you imagine if she got the message. If that's another story mate we've just got to hear it. No time like the present
Welshy: I wouldn't be here today mate talking to you.... will keep this one short I promise..basically out after one of the 6 nations games with the missis and my brother and his missis(we go every year as the her bday is during March) I start heading to the bar and I hear a shout...BEN!!! my brother clocked her first so straight away tried to grab my missis and draw her away....the Rhyd girl runs over and hugs me, my brother fails and my missis sees and walks over where the girl promptly introduces her husband...haha I literally burst out laughing nervously then my missis gives the who the fuck is she, so on the spot I just said ahhh thats....she used to come watch me play rugby back in the day, the other girl looks at me weird the husband looks confused and we kinda stood there for 5 minutes before going our own way but only before she grabs my arse as I turn off and the gives the call me wink and hand signal. I placed my arm around the missis and hastily made my way out
Honeysett: You're lucky you still have your balls mate. Pretty fucking embarrassing, what that be your most embarrassing moment or have you got something else up your sleeve?
Welshy: embarrassing that I sometimes used to act like I DID there to be honest,I'm a lot better now only ever in drink where I am a different person, I wouldn't do i soberly and If I ever lost my kids because of doing something fucking dumb like that under the influence I wouldn't know what to do with myself, so that's embarrassing to me. I've got plenty of embarrassing stories but I feel like I need a sensible answer after my stag story, because I have plenty of them haha
Honeysett: Kid free? Sounds perfect to me mate. I kid, I kid.
Welshy: When you do have them mate, you can't imagine not having them, cliche but so true. I'll give you an embarrassing story when you ask the inevitable question later on...
Honeysett: I'm getting the snip mate, I don't want them haha. Regardless, you know it's coming.. How'd your get your first load away
Welshy: Should tie in nicely with the embarrassing theme.... 14, trip down to play a tag beach rugby tourny in west wales, new piece from a youth disco about 3 weeks before came with my best mate and his missis, steaming before we got there, set up the tent and down to the beach. Played a game or 2, but way too pissed to play so took a trip down to the sea with the piece. Got stripped and waded in, we don't have warm waters like you lot so the water was fucking baltic, god knows how i kept the fella standing, pretty awkward location for a first attempt to be honest. in the interim the boys have taken my clothes, so I came back up to the beach starkers but I did have a decent sized smile on my face, finished the business later in the tent on dry land but I realised that a piece willing to do go starkers in the sea at midday surrounded by people she don't know probably wasnt wife material so she got the hook when we got home the day later
Honeysett: hahaha nice mate. Solid story there. Fucking in the ocean is rather difficult, especially with no footing - can't get the bearings going too well. Not for the faint hearted. We'll get away from the pussy stories - three famous people to get on the piss with, who do you take?
Welshy: yea the motion of the ocean saying is absolute bollocks. Would Say Alan Shearer because he is my footballing hero but he is boring as fuck on MOTD....I'll go Paul Gascoine for his drinking ability and I bet he has some shit hot stories on razz, Bill Murray and get Tom Hardy in there because I'll take what ever straggling wilderbeast he leaves behind when we go on the pull
Honeysett: Hahaha, he's my man crush Tom Hardy. Just a lad and loves dogs as well. What more could you ask for? What's your top three movies mate?
Welshy: mate he is a fucking dream. Legend of a guy and in one of my top films. Bronson! not top 3 though. I hate horror movies but my top 3 includes one, I'll amalgamate Evil dead 2 and Army of Darkness together into 1. Brilliant films, the 3rd doesn't get the praise it should horror comedy at its absolute best. Any Given Sunday. Could watch that film every week. Blazing Saddles 1. Blazing Saddles 2. Evil Dead 2/Army of Darkness 3. Any given Sunday
Honeysett: Nice mate! I can safely say I haven't seen any of those
Welshy: you haven't lived boy. I beg you to watch Blazing Saddles. Incredible. Couldn't make that film in tis PC era
Honeysett: Hahaha. Moving on. If you had a gun to your head and had to recite every word of a song correctly or you're dirt. What song are you singing?
Welshy: Ice Cube - No Vaseline
Honeysett: I started off with too much cargo
Dropped four niggas now I'm making all the dough
White man just ruling
The Niggas With Attitudes? Who ya foolin'?
Welshy: YES Honeysett. MY Nigga
Honeysett: Fuck man he is savage in that. Love it.
Welshy: best diss track ever. split NWA right down the middle with it. primal
Honeysett: Let's get the awkward question out of the way.. who's your favourite poster
Welshy: I ain't scared of the tough stuff. Its you, Mr Honeysett. congrats.....I await payment...
*Honeysett sends nudes*
Welshy: In all seriousness we would get on in real life, we like a lot of the same stuff, we love the razz and narcotics. That's a great start
few shout outs.. SI my favourite old person. great guy. Archer my FF bromancer my frenemy, Milch my favourite fantasy stats guy, fantasy would be shit without the cow and his sheets. Bullbender, R helped me out massively in SC a few years back and I wish he was more frequent in posting, good guy
Honeysett: They're all a great bunch of lads! I'm glad I'm top of the pile. Who's your favourite ever league player?
Welshy: Tyson Frizell (Editors Note: No shit) Kevin Sinfield and Iestyn Harris as legacy picks
Honeysett: The man love for the Frizz! What about least favourite?
Welshy: Harris was a worldie and would of smashed the NRL Sinfield is a 10 year lock for some team and captain. Hmm least favourite..... Fucking hated James Lowe & Andy Farrell
Honeysett: I'll nod and smile politely haha
Welshy: fuck off you don't know who Andy Farrell was
Honeysett: Not even in the slightest mate haha
Welshy: incredible. I'll keep it in the NRL for you then mate. Billy Slater. Fucking grub
Honeysett: He's a cunt haha.
Welshy: of the highest order.
Honeysett: What's Welshy's words to live by?
Welshy: Go piss up a rope
Honeysett: Hahaha perfect. I think that's a perfect way to end it mate
Welshy: been a pleasure
Honeysett: Thanks for joining me, although judging by the fact I'm you're favourite the pleasure seems all yours
Welshy: fuck that's over 2 hours long, haven't been around an aussie that long without wanting to thump him in the ear before
Honeysett: Well it probably helped I didn't understand a fookin word you said
Welshy: lets leave it there before peoples feelings get hurt.
Honeysett: Good idea.
